By Diana Morais
When something doesn’t go the way we expected, we are conditioned to ask ourselves “Why”. Why did this happen? Why did I do things this way? Why did I not deal with it differently?
This framing puts us in a victim place. Not only that, we nurture a feeling of guilt for not having done things another way. Most situations in life are about asking the best questions. Because the questions give us the direction of the way we will look and act in the future.
In a chess game, each piece has its role, vision and responsibility on the board. We can take the queen as an example. If we describe its physical characteristics, such as weight, size, colour, smell and even taste, it still doesn’t define who the queen really is in the game. Her ‘value’ comes from the way she acts in the system. If she loses a pawn during the game, she will lose perspective the minute she keeps asking herself ‘why’. The following moves will be in a defensive mode.
Unless we are a detective, let’s say then that there are questions more intelligent than “why”. In order to gain a better perspective of who we are and what we can do for our desires, ‘what’ and ‘how’ seem more in order. This gives us a sense of “there’s something I can do to move forward”. Our attitudes are what puts us in a place of respect for ourselves, and consequently for others. We all have the power to change anything in our lives.
So before we ask ‘why’, let’s ask: What is my desire? What can I do for my desire right now?
Change now and live a different effect.