By Diana Morais
“You cannot teach a man anything. You can only help him to find it within himself” Galileo Galilei
Whenever something goes sideways, we like to think that if only someone had warned us before, things would have turned out differently. Our parents are our favourites to blame for our self-sabotaging plots. Paraphrasing J.K. Rowling at Harvard’s commencement, there is a deadline on blaming our parents for our decisions and giving up on our dreams.
We are all experts in giving advice, aren’t we? Teaching the people we love how they should handle their lives is understood as an obligation. If only we were really teaching them something, we wouldn’t go through setbacks here and there in our own lives. It would be enough to always follow someone else’s advice.
We can explain one hundred times how a baby should learn how to walk, but they will only learn with their own effort to do so. We’ll teach them better when we accomplish our version of walking. The breakthrough happens in the space between the effort we make and harmonising ourselves with the result, whatever it may be. This is when real change happens: when we refrain from controlling others, to control our desire for the best. The feeling of vulnerability is replaced by a sense of growing up, no matter how old we are.
Change now and live a different effect.