By Ary Alonso Millan(†)

People talk nonstop. It seems like a survival need to talk all the time. What is our desire when we are talking? Simple: we want to justify and explain our intentions, to ourselves and to others. We think it is useful to add words of compliment or of correction. It gets worse: we think it is part of our existence to care for the improvement of the universe. In fact, it is just an attitude seeking approval or validation of our acts and positions.

We were brought up with someone always telling us what was right and what was wrong from a stand point that wasn’t ours. First, in the family structure; then through social standards, and finally through the internal codes that we build throughout our lives. In order to support this, we seek thoughts and famous philosophers that can give formatted ideas and so we don’t have to make the “big” effort to create our own position.

It seems a lot easier to have someone to approve and agree with what we say. In fact, we always seek reciprocity. If we brought our true intentions to light, we would no longer need to play the “good boy” , “bad boy” game. We could learn to stop pleasing our own moral and ethical codes, that would bring us independence and freedom.

If you don’t wish to be subject to others evaluations, it is enough to care to be better than your own self every day. This is what improves everything in life.

Take care of the cause and control the effect.